Emotions can be self validating
If you insult or complain to her, you’ll provoke a defensive reaction and she will resist you.Instead, you should always sound calm and collected, like you’re talking about the weather.
When you’re chastising her, it’s paramount that you sound angry or whiny.
But thanks to an explosion in research on infancy in the last 30 years, we now know that babies and toddlers are deeply feeling beings.
Starting in the earliest months of life, well before they can use words to express themselves, babies have the capacity to experience peaks of joy, excitement and elation.
We are demonstrating that we will still accept them after they have shared their feelings. How strongly are you feeling that (on a scale of 0-10)? We feel connected with them and they feel connected with us.
We let them know that we respect their perception of things at that moment. Just the other day we took a small boy to the doctor's office and I asked him if he was a little bit scared.